


Universe: 41, Jim Kirk: 0.

by mithrel



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Blanket Permission, Crack, Gen, Humor, Podfic Welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-22
Updated: 2009-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithrel/pseuds/mithrel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy keeps tabs on Kirk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Universe: 41, Jim Kirk: 0.

McCoy finished updating his medical records, carefully checking them over. Then he took out his own, entirely unofficial record of one individual on board. James T. Kirk seemed to attract trouble. It was an even bet whether you’d be safer as far away from him as possible, or close to him, since then any disaster would focus on him and ignore you.

He looked at the current tally. Strangulations: 1 (he supposed that had technically been necessary). Black eyes: 7 (mostly with uncooperative natives, although twice it had been because he’d flirted with the local women in cultures with arranged marriages: he didn’t believe in research; he left that to Spock). Times stunned by a phaser/disruptor/other energy weapon: 26 (did most away missions get in that many firefights? For that matter, he was sure the captains of other ships didn’t _go_ on most away missions). Burns: 3. (once in a shuttle under fire, once on the bridge trying to stem leaking coolant, and once…come to think of it, he didn’t know _how_ he’d gotten the last one. Jim had gone shifty and evasive when he’d asked. He’d have to bring it up again.) Times caught in a landslide: 1 (although they’d all been caught in that one. The planet had been going through a cycle of earthquakes).

He added in the latest tally for the week: one poisoning and another two times getting shot. He reflected wryly that they’d only been out for a year, and Jim had already accrued more damage than any other crewmember, including the security personnel. He would have lost count of the times he’d patched him up, if not for the record, which he’d started keeping out of some heretofore unknown clairvoyant ability. It’d be a miracle if Jim survived the five year mission, the rate he was going.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Universe: 41, Jim Kirk: 0 (Podfic)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3567101) by [VeegiDawn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeegiDawn/pseuds/VeegiDawn)




End file.
